Things That Stay
by AndAllThatMishigas
Summary: Post-series, Jen is dealing with the aftermath of her confrontation with Dane Majors in the woods and confesses it to Nick.


**Things That Stay**

Strange, how things stick in a person's head. How some horrible things can slide in and out without taking root, yet others grab hold and refuse to vacate. There's rarely a rhyme or reason to the things that end up being important. Jennifer Mapplethorpe had found that out first-hand.

The scariest thing she had ever done in her entire life was chase a killer through the woods to rescue Nick Buchanan. She had been reckless in her pursuit of Dane Majors, taking fewer precautions than a cop of her experience should have. But it was for Nick. Nick, who she had loved from the day they met, who she had turned away in the stupidest act possible. Even after they'd broken up, at least she still got to see him and work with him. But Majors was threatening to take him away for good, and that was what scared her. That was what made her realize for certain that she couldn't live a day without him.

In the end, all had worked out. Majors was gone. Nick was safe and reinstated to the police force, and he was in Jen's arms where he belonged. Everyone was good and happy.

And yet, the strangest things had stayed with Jen. She didn't have nightmares about Nick's bloody face or the ratty blanket she'd found him under. She didn't relive her confrontation with Majors whenever she held her gun. Those things would have made sense.

No, instead, it was green. The color green had become her undoing. She stopped wearing the green blouse she had once loved. She avoided lawns and parks with lots of trees.

It took her a while to even realize it, that the terror she'd felt in the woods had caused a vice grip on her insides whenever that color was prominent.

Nick first noticed it about a month after he'd returned to work. He wore a green shirt, one he knew Jen had complimented him on in the past. It was one of his favorites for that reason. And when he came to greet her in the morning wearing it, she had turned away.

"Jen? What's wrong?" he asked, immediately worried about her reaction.

"Nothing," she lied.

"It's not nothing. Come here," he requested, putting his arms around her.

She stiffened. Too close to the shirt. Too much green.

Nick frowned. He could feel the tension in her. He took her face in his hands, his fingers curved around her cheekbones and jawline. "Your pulse is racing. Something's the matter."

Jennifer closed her eyes and quickly explained, "I think I might have trauma triggered by the color green because of what happened in the woods with Majors." She'd hadn't said it out loud yet, her fears over what she'd realized had happened to her.

Nick let go of her. "I'll go change," he replied without another word.

She opened her eyes and frowned. "Wait no, don't," she protested. "I like that shirt on you. It's my favorite, actually."

He smiled softly. "I remember. But I don't want it to bother you. So I'll go change."

"Nick, I don't want you to change for me." Jen realized how silly that sounded. "I mean, I don't want to keep avoiding shrubbery and feeling like this whenever I look through my closet and see green clothes. It's the stupidest thing!"

"It is not stupid. There's never any reason to a lot of this. I had similar issues when you got shot. I got nervous whenever the sky was bright but overcast, like it was that day. For weeks, I kept waiting for a gunshot to sound whenever I went outside in that weather."

"You never told me that."

"I didn't want to worry you. I felt silly about it. But I got over it. And do you know how?"

She shook her head.

"You. Your wound healed, and I could hold you in my arms and kiss you and make love to you and have you with me as a reminder that everything was alright. Now, I'm not saying it'll be the same for you. But you will get through it, Jennifer. And I want to help you any way I can." He smirked. "You saved my life. It's the least I can do."

Jen fell into his arms and held onto him tight. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. But she forced herself to look at the shirt. To focus on the fabric over his body. To feel the anxiety and have it slowly leave her system as she reminded herself that he was safe and they were together and everything was alright.

"I love you, Jen," he whispered, kissing her hair.

She just clung to him tighter, smiling into the green shirt. Even if this took a long time to get over, Jen knew that Nick would be the thing to stay even longer.


End file.
